Oh, hey, before you squish my heart like a grape, are there any band aids and Neosporin in the house?
One day you’re in a relationship. The next day you’re not. It happens. Sometimes you have a soft landing from the situation; sometimes your heart feels like a UFC fighter had its tender way with it.
Problem, among many, is letting everyone know your former better half has moved on to what you hope is a life of misery and regret.
A friend of mine, Dave, just ended an engagement. Not surprisingly, every time he goes out, he has to answer questions about the sucking wound that was his relationship. Just as he’s getting used to the idea of his relationship imploding, he gets a friendly dash of salt in that mother that reminds him of the split.
I’ve witnessed the scenario over and over lately. And the convo goes a little something like this…
Wound Opener: “Hey, Dave! How’s it going? Been awhile since I’ve seen you.”
Dave: “Living the dream, man. Living the dream.”
WO: “Sounds righteous. How’s the wedding planning going? You must be swamped.”
Dave: “Ohh. Well. Um. That’s over. We called off the engagement.”
WO: “Aw man sorry to hear about that. But, hey, everything happens for a reason.”
Dave: “Yeah, really dodged a bullet.”
WO: “Well, this too shall pass. Right?”
Dave: “That’s what they say, man, that’s what they say.”
WO (in a hushed and heavy tone): “It was better that you found out now.”
Dave: “On the bright side I can use that money I was saving for the wedding on hookers and blow.”
WO: “Right on, man, right on. And truth be told, I never really liked her anyway.”
Dave: “Really? Why didn’t you say something? Could have saved me two years.”
WO: “You seemed so happy and all. You know? Ok, it was good catching up. Keep living the dream.”
Dave: “I hear ya.”
So far Dave is keeping a healthy sense of humor about it. No crying into his beer or random horse heads placed on his ex’s pillow. I commend him for his gallant silence on the matter even though I have to admit I want to know every salacious detail. I’m a nosey bunch. How have you handled prying eyes and even pryier* questions about your break up? Tell me all about it in the Comments section.
*Yes, it’s a made up word. Duh.
Image from ehow.com
Pamela Raymond keeps a hectic social schedule so she sees a lot of relationship dilemmas. A native of New Orleans, she infuses a mix of Southern sass and Yankee tough love in her columns. Pamela is a seasoned writer, public relations specialist and social media guru in St. Louis.
